Not a mystery to solve, obviously I'm an open book. But you all are books for me to read and write the endings.
Some of the people from my past thought that I was a mystery for them to solve. But actually I'm not. I'm actually like an open book that if some people clever enough would know what I am. One thing that I know so well is that I read people. Because I'm always in silent, it's actually a condition for me in which I'm easy to observe people. Like I always say, we can learn and think more in silent rather than when we are talking. This is my gifted character. I can read people from one look, it's all there on the surface. I just need to put them on folders in my mind and see in the future whether my deduction of certain people is right or not. Yes, I use my senses.... developed senses. Aren't we all?! This is actually a trait for me as well to control people (woops). Too much watching Sherlock?! I couldn't be happy more that Sir Arthur created a fiction that mostly described me in personal. It thrills me that I'm not alone thinking I'm a freak, like Mom always says that I'm unsociable,
a freak, an autistic person in which I can't communicate well or that I don't feel like ordinary human being. She used to call me "Manusia tanpa perasaan". and I laugh a lot every time I watch Sherlock so thrilled with his own world while Dr.Watson always shouted at him about his "Timing". Again, it thrills me that I can see another human being (a fiction created by Sir Arthur, it's a thought in a person's mind, so it's real enough for me) can act like I always do. Though I pushed myself so hard always to feel, always being aware about the surroundings, always giving affection, being friendly. I'm sorry but all are just tools on how to live this life. I use all those tools just to survive. In truth, like the fiction always says: everything is just transport, what matter is only my work. All lies end, hearts will be broken. In my case now, Dale is my only everything. I guess Allah gave me a reason to live, then Dale it is.
He saves lives and a fiction.
I build characters, basic people's knowledge, develop frameworks for child's survivors, and I'm real.
Close enough to be the high-functioning sociopath, don't you think?!
The matter of a disguise is always ends with self portrait.
No matter how far how hard, or even how complicated to create fake life and fake personality, in the end, we always show the truth of who we really are. So what I read in people at the first sight, in the end they will reveal themselves as I see them for the first time. 33 years old, and not one from any of them surprised me of whom they really are in the end, including the bad side of Dale's father that I always see the moment I laid my eyes on him. I forced myself to be blind at that time like I gave him 2nd chance because of his efforts that time to convince me that he had good intention. Though it turned out to be just lies and broken promises. What I can't accept is that.. I was okay on my own, my life, my responsibilities in works, teaching, double studies. Then he came promised me anything. I thought I'd be an ungrateful person if I refused because nowadays.. a man chases a woman to get marry is very rare, don't you think?! Well, then again, look at the bright side. I got my gorgeous and lovable Dale. Like Sherlock I am, a positive, a high functioning sociopath.
a blast from the past. My brain is my HD. I delete everything that doesn't relate with my work. Consider I'm married to my work.
Like one of my friends always says: Vina never thinks of anything that doesn't relate with all of her doings, including English, movies, and games or even personality development and how to manipulate people. She never bothered to feel have to know about the current issues or what's in the gossip at the architecture department. She would stay in touch with one of the noisiest and most annoying person in the society just to get to know about the latest gossip. But you can't ever imagine how Vina seems to always get close to each of the people in the society, secretly. How she helped them to overcome their problem. They knew that Vina is always reliable and a right place to save their secrets.
Ok, now I knew what he meant at that time.
There's no such thing as hero, and if there are, I'm not one of them.
Like my half sister always said that I always wanted to be hero that it's actually her mom that always said that I was her hero. You got it wrong, sister. There's no such thing as hero, and if there are, I'm not one of them. I'm just a human, a high functioning sociopath who makes her own kind of world, manipulates people, creates her own world full of good deeds for the sake of creating better places for the ones she loved. You were there with your mom in that kind of world that I've created for you, but you tossed it away and betrayed me. I only need to be stood still and let them judged how evil the both of you. It's like karma does you both right and I got lucky as Allah gave me the privilege to see how karma does you both right. I didn't need to do any effort at that time to destroy both of your reputations. This is who I am, this is how I read people, and manipulate. Be good, then I'll create good world for you. You do me bad, then I just sit still and see how your world torn apart. Yes, it's what I do.
Some of the people from my past thought that I was a mystery for them to solve. But actually I'm not. I'm actually like an open book that if some people clever enough would know what I am. One thing that I know so well is that I read people. Because I'm always in silent, it's actually a condition for me in which I'm easy to observe people. Like I always say, we can learn and think more in silent rather than when we are talking. This is my gifted character. I can read people from one look, it's all there on the surface. I just need to put them on folders in my mind and see in the future whether my deduction of certain people is right or not. Yes, I use my senses.... developed senses. Aren't we all?! This is actually a trait for me as well to control people (woops). Too much watching Sherlock?! I couldn't be happy more that Sir Arthur created a fiction that mostly described me in personal. It thrills me that I'm not alone thinking I'm a freak, like Mom always says that I'm unsociable,
a freak, an autistic person in which I can't communicate well or that I don't feel like ordinary human being. She used to call me "Manusia tanpa perasaan". and I laugh a lot every time I watch Sherlock so thrilled with his own world while Dr.Watson always shouted at him about his "Timing". Again, it thrills me that I can see another human being (a fiction created by Sir Arthur, it's a thought in a person's mind, so it's real enough for me) can act like I always do. Though I pushed myself so hard always to feel, always being aware about the surroundings, always giving affection, being friendly. I'm sorry but all are just tools on how to live this life. I use all those tools just to survive. In truth, like the fiction always says: everything is just transport, what matter is only my work. All lies end, hearts will be broken. In my case now, Dale is my only everything. I guess Allah gave me a reason to live, then Dale it is.
I build characters, basic people's knowledge, develop frameworks for child's survivors, and I'm real.
Close enough to be the high-functioning sociopath, don't you think?!
The matter of a disguise is always ends with self portrait.
No matter how far how hard, or even how complicated to create fake life and fake personality, in the end, we always show the truth of who we really are. So what I read in people at the first sight, in the end they will reveal themselves as I see them for the first time. 33 years old, and not one from any of them surprised me of whom they really are in the end, including the bad side of Dale's father that I always see the moment I laid my eyes on him. I forced myself to be blind at that time like I gave him 2nd chance because of his efforts that time to convince me that he had good intention. Though it turned out to be just lies and broken promises. What I can't accept is that.. I was okay on my own, my life, my responsibilities in works, teaching, double studies. Then he came promised me anything. I thought I'd be an ungrateful person if I refused because nowadays.. a man chases a woman to get marry is very rare, don't you think?! Well, then again, look at the bright side. I got my gorgeous and lovable Dale. Like Sherlock I am, a positive, a high functioning sociopath.
a blast from the past. My brain is my HD. I delete everything that doesn't relate with my work. Consider I'm married to my work.
Like one of my friends always says: Vina never thinks of anything that doesn't relate with all of her doings, including English, movies, and games or even personality development and how to manipulate people. She never bothered to feel have to know about the current issues or what's in the gossip at the architecture department. She would stay in touch with one of the noisiest and most annoying person in the society just to get to know about the latest gossip. But you can't ever imagine how Vina seems to always get close to each of the people in the society, secretly. How she helped them to overcome their problem. They knew that Vina is always reliable and a right place to save their secrets.
Ok, now I knew what he meant at that time.
There's no such thing as hero, and if there are, I'm not one of them.
Like my half sister always said that I always wanted to be hero that it's actually her mom that always said that I was her hero. You got it wrong, sister. There's no such thing as hero, and if there are, I'm not one of them. I'm just a human, a high functioning sociopath who makes her own kind of world, manipulates people, creates her own world full of good deeds for the sake of creating better places for the ones she loved. You were there with your mom in that kind of world that I've created for you, but you tossed it away and betrayed me. I only need to be stood still and let them judged how evil the both of you. It's like karma does you both right and I got lucky as Allah gave me the privilege to see how karma does you both right. I didn't need to do any effort at that time to destroy both of your reputations. This is who I am, this is how I read people, and manipulate. Be good, then I'll create good world for you. You do me bad, then I just sit still and see how your world torn apart. Yes, it's what I do.
