All Alone And Bandung

You had me at first sight…

I’ll marry you since that night…

-          Sendiri dan Bandung –

in the deepest dark of the night.

I smell the sense of yours in delight.

bring me back again to that night

when you're so perfect.

call me pathetic

because I'm longing like an old woman.

call me naive

I'm merely just a human.

after all...

you're the best from them all...

hard worker,

wild and naughty,

yet pious in the same time.

whew.I just found another me in different shape.

bigger.stronger.taller.smarter.younger.

an alpha male.knows what he wants...

found another proof of

perfect figure bursts perfect mind.

what's in your head makes you perfect.

like when your hands reached out to me yesterday.

like when before you touched me with your words and thoughts

I refused not because I didn't want to be helped.

It's just that I've been alone and trying to be strong for too long.

Give me some times... that...

I promise someday I'll need you...

but I just did yesterday, didn't I...

May I have a hope just because you fastly answered me.

I never know what I want since I only knew what I don't want.

but you've made me wanting you...

- for the man of his plans –

Realize that I’m like a storm sweeps on you

I ravage them all anything in you with the Blue

I leave you completely high and dry like I look greedy

You’ll hate me and there’ll be nothing left but the best that you can be…

It’s just an evil wisdom from the dark side of me

-Vain –

Put all memories about you in writings,

Because remembering you is intoxicating,

I don’t wanna feel the pain,

You leave me no choice but to live in vain,

Though I try not to get hurt,

It’s unavoidable when your anger finally burst

                It has been three days since the last call from Dante. He left me no choice but regretting of what I’ve done. He’s mature enough so this maybe the way he matures me. Or it’s just that he doesn’t care. I thought the writings would just end badly, but unfortunately now it’s more like my diary. Let’s see, what this will be. It’s like all problems that happened with the previous guys. Our connection is actually put to the test. Whether it’s friend or foe, let’s see how this ends and which one of us who will finally take a bow. Sebaris pikiran absurd terlintas dibenakku,

Are you okay?

Still angry?

I’ve done something bad for you, ya?

I’m sorry, then…   

Lonely and beautiful

Breath taking...

Like when I remember you...

Scared.jealous.possessive.worries.

dark.but intoxicating...

-          Post Scriptum –

You’re an object of my inspiration,

You’re an inspiration of my art projects,

There’s nothing wrong with that,

And it doesn’t mean

I can live with you forever,

Be free….

You’re just an interesting soul to me

-          indifferent gold:an inspiration-

-          Indifferent Gold –

Messy room,

Face with gloom,

Familiar scent of cigar,

As the soul stretched showed scar,

Some on body,

Some like thrown to the sea,

Vanished or just tarnish,

Slice of emptiness,

Like some heart pieces,

No brat not even a cat,

Mellow is on the pillow,

It’s a long term longing,

From a soul that not yet belonging,

So precious so marvelous,

Indifferent yet magnificent,

Like something ancient,

Any soul with wise and grace,

Is mine to easily embrace,

Though it might get old,

It can never be merely jolt,

It will be greater like gold,

Forever I will be glad to hold…

Mom moved on, so she wrote like this…

 

8 March 2013 · 

Hey, Indifferent Gold, I'm moving on... cause I'm about to get marry tomorrow...

kuangkat kau kelangit tinggi,

lalu kuhempaskan kau ke bumi,

hilang,

kau bukan lagi sebuah palang...

#bangun pagi, untukmu terangkai sebait kata,

mungkin juga dari yang lainnya,

ingat aku hanya wanita dengan logika,

mungkin saja dirimu hanya pengingat seperti yang satunya,

akan sebaik apa diriku bisa sebenar-benarnya,

kata-kata adalah doa,

tapi aku terlalu malas mendapatkanmu dengan sujud dan segalanya,

selalu lebih nikmat diberi cinta daripada mengejarnya,

I'm moving on..

-indifferent gold-

indifferent,

kau takkan pernah melihatku, aku hanya barang tua dan usang untukmu,

gold,

tak lagi dapat diasah(bukan diamond in the rough), kau memang sudah tercetak seperti itu.

So here I am, with the gaze of wisdom on my dark black eyes. 

I, named Dalelucky.

next ----> Ben : An Idol