Thursday, April 24, 2014

5 minutes sleepiness

the sleep of emerging breed,
is a lifetime loneliness,
the sleep of morning greet,
is a tragic laziness,
the sleep of vanishing deed,
is to get rid of the tiredness
one may sleep 5 minutes,
to live some other hours...

8 am in sleepiness

Sleep my little baby-oh
Sleep until you waken
When you wake you'll see the world
If I'm not mistaken...

Kiss a lover
Dance a measure,
Find your name
And buried treasure...

Face your life
Its pain, 
Its pleasure,
Leave no path untaken.” 
― Neil GaimanThe Graveyard Book

April 23rd Entry #1 Writing Peer Teaching Writing Journals

Going back and forth (it has deepest meaning of reminding me about this morning silliness at my peer teaching session) looking at the bloom taxonomy while doing the lesson plan is surely can make me crazy. Well, at least it was what I thought when I first landed my hand on the lesson plans of the PET. But I’m like a diesel engine, slower at the start of the beginning phase, and going faster in the middle of it until the end. Just like math, physics, concept and drawing phases of my old days of being an architect, in the end I kind of like doing and drown in lesson plan, but still breathing though. Like a fast moving on person who accept good thing easily and adapting, I wish. So, yeah, am doing my lesson plan of peer teaching writing. Still.. by going back and forth at the bloom taxonomy, trying so hard to make the flow of the lesson smoothly, sequenced, graded, on the right track, not taking and then putting slightly different material into the flow of the lesson, like what Dania and Riyan did this morning. Really should keep that in mind. If it’s a story of the book, then we have to explain the target grammar using the story. And what about my chaotic peer teaching?! Let’s leave that one in the end. I don’t want to ruin my mood on the lesson plan now.   

April 24th Entry #2 Really Writing Peer Teaching Writing Journals
I made some huge mistakes in my peer teaching. Though I already played it around 4 times in my head, it was still a chaotic one. Constructing 165 minutes activities in only 30 minutes and I realized I can’t even look at my check list. So yeah, I missed the regular and irregular verbs after the students finished answering the V2 written in the email. Instead, I’m going to the negative forms which was actually should went after the regular and irregular verbs. The sequence should be types of verbs, examples and then the form of the structures. So yeah, like Ms. Syndi said, I was going back and forth. We had got only 11 minutes left when I realized that I still have to show them the how to do the mind map. Mr. Nofri couldn’t stand still that I knew exactly he wanted to explain about the regular and irregular verbs. So I gave him the part of explaining it, while I was looking at the time. Darn it, 10 more minutes while I hadn’t explained to them the mind map, and Ms.Syndi just raised her notification said,”10 MINUTES”. It’s like mind map, then check answers, then pictures to distributed, pictures explanation, then mind map practice, then answers checking, and then asking them to write email, wrap up, and then giving instruction for the assessment list to do. Nice I have only 1 minute for each step. But in the end we were able to finish it on time. The cookies and the challenge part were quite refreshing and made the class a little bit lively. But like déjà-vu, when I saw Muti and Dania raised their hands and legs when they wanted the cookies, they reminded me of someone. And yeah, I remembered Dale, he was only 2 weeks old, after I fed him a bottle of milk, he raised his hands and legs while shouting like a kid got panic attack. And yeah I panicked and right away lifted him that I was afraid something went wrong about him. Then he was smiling, and burping. Oh my God, my DELicious 2-weeks old baby boy had just bullied me. And this was his face like….  

He was saved from vomiting. This face was also something that I remembered after I finished my part on peer teaching. I do really know how to connect things to my baby boy, don’t I?! 
The procedure of the challenging part is quite something that I made up. I was aware that we had only 30 minutes to teach on writing. Writing is like twice longer to teach rather than reading. Reading is receptive skill, so when the student can get the comprehension by summing up the reading material, then the TO is achieved. But in writing which is productive skill, we have to teach the grammar and how to construct the reading material and then make the students create their own product of writing. This should be achieved in 30 minutes?! That’s why I came up with the challenging idea to stop the writing activity and asked them to read instead without having to say,” Consider done”. I hate those two magical words which over and over the trainer warned us not to say it. I can’t remember how many times I told Mr. Nofri to stop saying that since Ms. Mitta told us only the trainers have the privilege to say those magical words, and we are only trainees. I made the game of stopping their activity and especially because it was peer teaching that all of them are already great teachers (a very valuable opportunity to get to learn from those wonderful creatures), without having to say,” Consider done”. It felt like a criminal got caught after the guard said, “Don’t run away!” ran away, and then got caught. 
It’s like the “while” activity in writing after I gave them the instruction on pre writing, they were writing and see if one student already finished one sentence, asked one if he/she was brave enough to read her/his writing in front of the class he/she will get one cookie. I asked Mr. Riyan, our perfect Englishman, but he was chickening, so I asked Intan who always wants to take any challenge without thinking the consequence, and she said yes. I only need another one student to be able to challenge her and Muti did in correct way reading the whole email. She got 2 cookies and Intan got one cookie because of her bravery of being the first. The one who did the effort, Muti was happy with 2 cookies, and Intan as the first who brave enough was also happy got a cookie without have to say anything. The purpose is to give other students’ comprehension about the right answers. If those two couldn’t say the correct answers, they still got 1 cookie each for the bravery. The purpose is to inspire other students to not being afraid of making mistakes. That learning process can be achieved from making mistakes and knowing the true answers. Good man learns from mistakes, and wise man learns from other’s mistakes. I think it’s a good type of scoring that I can apply in class after one student finished his/her writing and ask the others to finish their writings as well to be hung on the wall with the purpose of having all students finished their writings. Using the material from the book for teaching grammar in story checked, sequencing verbs-examples-form of structure checked, deciding focus on grammar or model writing checked, sequencing mind map to model writing instead of the other way around which completely wrong and silly checked. Okay, I’m good to move on to my lesson plan now.


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

journal on grammar class

April 6 Entry #2 Writing the Grammar Journals

Grammar is always an issue for students from what I have got in my experiences. Maybe that is why my boss insisted me to create classroom programs based on the grammar fast track book. I think it is to make it easy for the students to study grammar. Well, it is not just my students, but I think my boss himself seems hating grammar very much, or otherwise, he will not let me lead the English department because he thinks that he is already fed up by it. I have certain ways on convincing the students that grammar is actually easy and fun such as simplifying the comprehension of the tenses. Instead of giving them the 16 tenses, I told them to memorize only 6 in order to be able to construct the whole 16 tenses. Maybe it is because I have dealt with many students that whining the teachers in their school often make the grammar complicated. Well, then again since I am in the informal homeschooling and courses that I have the duty to make the lesson simple instead of make it complicated like formal school teachers do, it is actually what I do, to simplify the lesson. I believe this method is taught at the TEFL-A LIFT-pronunciation class before. Owh good, I just review the previous lesson.
Since grammar is an issue for students, I have learnt that there are certain points to remember to make it easier to teach grammar for the students. The first is that since English is cool for the students, it is always a good idea to put the comprehension in their brain that to be able to speak English well which is cool, we need to learn English Grammar and we have to master it in order to look more sophisticated. And yeah, it is a good and an easy point to teach. I also found that by learning and mastering grammar, we will be able to identify different kinds of words although they might give the same meanings. As an example, the word, “Succeed”, acts as verb in the sentence: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard. It has different kind of word as adjective for “Successful” in “If you want to be successful, you have to work hard”. We also need to put other form of word like “Successfully” in “If you want to pass the test successfully, then you have to work hard”. The same meaning of word can also be applied as noun in “Success is 99 percent of hard work and 1 percent of luck”. I got the idea that we need to be able to identify and understand the concept of words function in order to make such 4 different sentences with the same meaning using different kinds of words. I think this is a good one to make the students realize that they need to master the grammar in English in order to create these “cool” English sentences.
By being in the TEFL-A grammar class, I have realized that we can create a quite long sentence with one period that can be up to 4 lines of writings, still in a grammatically correct ways. So yeah, attending the class, gave me many insights about how to construct sentences in correct ways. I also learnt many kinds of activities in the grammar class that I am sure that I can apply them in my class. Not to mention, I have learnt many fun ways to deliver the grammar in the class. It is always fun for students to play English lessons in puzzles or when they need to move, to get up, or sit at other places rather than their own chairs. Students will love to move because kinesthetic action always works for children up to adult, also adding the competition aspect as in group work will make the lesson even more interesting.
I also found from the class that there are certain uncountable nouns which actually countable, and vice versa. I have learnt that we need to put ourselves in the English culture logic in order to be able to identify the noun in correct ways. It is more like accepting the whole comprehension without questioning it. After all, English is a language derived from a culture that we just need to accept it as it is in order to be fluent to speak of it. Again, without questioning it and put aside our logic, Indonesian logic in the language, otherwise, we will not be able to speak English fluently.

Woops, 766 words already, I think that is it for now because I have mentioned my evidence of learning, insights, summary and opinion on how and what to apply on my class. There are 2 PDFs on grammar that I have got from the, but I think I will keep those notes to myself. 

journal on pronunciation class

April 6 Entry #1 Writing the Late Journals

I was told to write journals in order to pass the TEFL-A. I had not yet started until today. It took me a while to figure out how to write a good journal. Yes I wrote diary and articles like 7500 words a day to make money, but now everything changes since I have Dale, my almost 3 months old baby boy. Every day I think only him, from the moment I get up to the time I go to bed. So I browsed a while to see how good journal can be written. It is said, “Put all of your thoughts”, well that is quite difficult.  “Do not mind about the grammar, punctuation, and else”, well this is going to be easier and I started to like it. But then again I have to start to write what I have got from the 2 days training about Grammar and pronunciation in LIFT. I have to put certain ideas such as evidence of learning, my insight, the summary, my opinion, what and how I will apply the knowledge to my class.
Gladly, to be in the class is actually very valuable for me. Back in the office, I cannot learn more, that I already the manager of the English Department, though my background is architecture. Most of the English teachers in my office are still in the college and I am the one who has to train them on how to teach and to give them enrichment in English materials to teach. So I think that I cannot develop my department and myself if I stay at the office. Since I am accepted in LIA, it is absolutely a good opportunity to improve myself, especially to recover from the surgery. It is not easy to be someone that judged as the one with low ability in linguist by the psychologist and psychiatrist. The stubborn I did not want to stop at that kind of judgment that I pushed myself to master the area by teaching English, and especially that I have the experiences to teach since 2007. I knew I would succeed because I love English. Once we love something it will be easy for us to overcome any kind of problems. I did by successfully make my physics teacher academy students passed the English class by being able to present the Physics subjects in English. All I did was just applying the method that my LBPP LIA OYEP lecture told me to do by making 30 sentences a day. Well it was actually only applied for me that I made my students construct minimum 30 sentences a week. In each of the classes I analyzed their sentences and corrected their mistakes as a way to give them deeper comprehension in English. It was only 28 hours of meeting in 6 months and when they succeed, I feel like I am able to deal with my psychiatrist’s judgment on my low ability in linguist. Above all, I need to be part of this English teacher successful team in LIA. So, yeah, to be in TEFL-A is definitely exciting.
In LIFT- pronunciation class by Mr. Idwan Deshira, I have learnt that pronunciation is very important, and I agree with this statement because an English teacher is the environment for the students and also a role model so that an English teacher should be careful in times of pronunciation. By attending the LIFT class, I feel like I can improve my pronunciation, changing my habit to pronounce in certain words that I thought I was right to pronounce them. This is definitely important to apply to my class. There were also some videos by Dave Sconda on how we can pronounce words in correct ways. I consider myself as natural English speaker that I did not need to attend the English vocal class to make me pronounce English in a right way (this was certain because my English native speaker himself and herself told me that I have perfect pronunciation), but by being in the class I feel like I got so much on how to teach my students to pronounce words. Exaggeration is important when it comes to pronunciation. I am not that exaggeration kind of person, well at least it cannot be seen from my appearance but others can see from my writings (jahahaha), or maybe because I am intoxicated by Intan, the college student teacher who is quite talkative sits beside me. I always consider myself as a silent person, so I am fit with those who are talkative. I always think that smart people are those who are good in their area, but like my mother always says, even smarter people are those who can teach what they have got. That is why I think being a teacher is a good one. I am not smart but I like to make people smarter. Does it not make me even smarter?! Hahah!
Well then I have mentioned my evidence of learning on what I have got from the class, I have written my insight about the pronunciation, that also includes the summary and my opinion, also I have written how and what I will apply in my class. I think that is all for now. It is not that hard to write 888 words. I wonder why the others feel disturbed. Well, maybe they just not that into writings. I can write about the subjects but I think I do not need to since this will take to 1000 words. I will keep the notes on the subjects to myself. Next is another 750 words for grammar journal and ICT tasks. Am I on fire?! No, I am on my bed… not sleeping, but typing. Hahah!


Sunday, April 6, 2014

make your own kind of money

love to take pictures?
wanna get more money and make useful of your hobby taking pictures?
just sell it!

2 jobs are available

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how to write a good journal

April 6 Entry #1 Writing the Late Journals

I was told to write journals in order to pass the TEFL-A. I had not yet started until today. It took me a while to figure out how to write a good journal. Yes I wrote diary and articles like 7500 words a day to make money, but now everything changes since I have Dale, my almost 3 months old baby boy. Every day I think only him, from the moment I get up to the time I go to bed. So I browsed a while to see how good journal can be written. It is said, “Put all of your tho....

...students to pronounce words. Exaggeration is important when it comes to pronunciation. I am not that exaggeration kind of person, well at least it cannot be seen from my appearance but others can see from my writings (jahahaha), or maybe because I am intoxicated by Intan, the college students teacher who is quite talkative. I always consider myself as a silent person, so I am fit with those who are talkative. I always think that smart people are those who are good in their area, but like my mother always says, even smarter people are those who can teach what they have got. That is why I think being a teacher is a good one. I am not smart but I like to make people smarter. Is it not makes me even smarter?! Hahah!
Well then I have mentioned my evidence of learning on what I have got from the class, I have written my insight about the pronunciation, that also includes the summary and my opinion, also I have written how and what I will apply in my class. I think that is all for now. It is not that hard to write 888 words. I wonder why the others feel disturbed. Well, maybe they just not that into ....

above is just some parts of journal writings. I'll tell you the tips that I've got from certain sources on how to write a good journal

I can't say that I can write good journal, well.. I just try.. but I got some points from the sources that I got from the internet later on you'll find the links below my writings. the first is that you will need to mention quite deep comprehension and that you will need to describe it clearly.

Secondly, try to put on themes related with the issue you've been working on with. Thirdly, give concrete examples and general principles. Don't forget to put fresh insights, personal discoveries, and any other deep thoughts related with the subjects.

You will also need to put the value of your observation for your personal development and for the implication you will do in your life as example in grammar and pronunciation class you will need to include the evidence of learning, insights, summary, opinion, what and how you will apply the knowledge that you have got in the class to your own student class.
The writing style is better be engaging, lively, and personal. This can be a proof that you're really experiencing the issue instead of just writing others' thoughts.

Here are some sources regarding with writing journals

Saturday, April 5, 2014

when wisdom lies

2 September 2012 at 19:03
I enjoy my wrinkles and my dry skin in my early 30s,
I just hope I can enjoy more for growing old,
because I've seen the aging on a face and the life of a great man,
I tasted it was so delicious that it will become more tasty and luscious,
He was at peace then it wasn't anymore because there's me the missing piece,
He smiled and laughed often when my existence fulfil his core and life,
then he tired of love because I was the love that had already gone,
I may never stop loving him, but what's love when you can't even seen the face of the people you love,
staring deep into each other eyes, the connections will always needed to have bond.

the bond that acknowledged me why I always fall in love with the men of marriage seen in another man.
The peace, the wisdom, the steadiness that can always conquer my restlessness and burning fire.
I'd like to be seen as 'must be nice to be you, and how you grow so content...'(for the daughter of yours that calling me 'mother')
-because I don't have perfect mother role
and how I've seen that man's wrinkles which made me fell in love
-because I don't have perfect father role
if I could choose, I wanted to grow old with you...

Yang Tercinta,Yang Tiada...

23 September 2012 at 00:00
kuresapi rasamu yang hanya cumbuan belaka
kurasakan cintamu yang tak bermakna,
kutulis dirimu yang telah kubaca,
hanya tuk kurubah jadi karya kata - kata,
diri ini terlalu rapuh untuk terus kau sakiti...

Lelaki itu masih juga terpaku disitu. Kedewasaan dan kesepian terbaca jelas diraut wajahnya yang sedikit kekanakan. Matanya terus menatap layar hapenya. Entah sudah berapa kali ia baca SMS itu. SMS yang tak pernah dibalasnya. SMS yang membungkam pikiran, kata - kata dan tangannya untuk mengetik balasan. SMS yang menempatkannya dalam dilema seumur hidupnya. SMS yang membuatnya terus berdusta, pada orang sekelilingnya, bahkan pada dirinya sendiri, juga wanita itu.

"makan gorengan dikit,rasanya tu tumor nyut2an,maaf ya ga tau mo crita kesapa.pengen nangis rasanya.akan lebih mudah cerita kekamu yang ga punya rasa,toh ga ada ngaruh2nya,daripada cerita ke mereka yang khawatir ma aku.aku bisa ngerasain emosi kesedihan mereka.maaf...."

Tubuh wanita itu terbaring kaku disana, tak ada siapa-siapa. Shoji menatapnya, tanpa arti, kosong, pikirannya melayang tak karuan dan akhirnya ia mendapati sesuatu ingin meledak dari dasar tubuhnya. Maka ia meraih kemaluannya. Tergesa - gesa, cepat, seperti yang biasa dilakukannya. Tangan kirinya masih juga memegang sisi peti itu. Kayu licin yang menjadi saksi waktu tersembunyi dari privasi shoji.

"beb... klua'r, aku... klua'r....", erang shoji dengan pengucapan 'R' yang tidak jelas. Kemudian ia menatap wajah wanita itu yang tidak memberikan respon sedikitpun, bahkan tidak membuka matanya. Perlahan shoji mengguncang tubuh wanita itu dengan tangan kirinya.

 "beb... ko kamu diem aja, beb.... aku klua'r, kamu denge'r R akukan,beb... kamu suka kan..., beeeebbb...", shoji memeluk tubuh wanita itu dengan tangan kirinya dan mendekapnya. Kerongkongannya tercekat.

" beeee... eeebbbb", dan suaranya semakin tidak jelas. Ia ingin menumpahkan luapan didadanya, tapi seperti yang terus tertahan, maka dipeluknya erat tubuh wanita itu sambil memejam matanya. Setitik air mengalir dari ujung matanya. Shoji tercekat dan menyadari. Segala kesuksesan, segala jerih payah. Pengejaran dalam hidupnya untuk menempatkan dirinya tinggi dan pantas memiliki wanita itu, terbelenggu hanya karna sebuah nafsu. Rasa gengsi yang dimenangkannya untuk menyakiti wanita itu dengan menikahi wanita lainnya. Obsesi sepanjang hidupnya, tengah terbaring kaku dihadapnya. Sex itu bukan hanya sekedar nafsu. Kebutuhan bagian dari hidupnya, ia tengah mencinta, cinta yang korup, kotor, tamak, tergesa - gesa, tidak setia, dan tidak membuat tenang. Cintanya tak bermakna, tapi ia membutuhkannya. Komplikasi itu tetap solid walau terus membuatnya ragu, saat ia katakan,"..aku butuh kamu..". Dan yang dicinta, kini telah tiada...  

-yang tercinta,yang tiada-

call me...

12 October 2012 at 15:31
Call me ungratefully, I have new life not one but more than two,
Call me greedy, I still have the thoughts of you...
Call me sinfully, I still want to be with you..

just let it go...

9 October 2012 at 23:23
when you've reached the point of wanting something or someone,
but you realize you can never get it,
then it's the time for you to let go...
#my thing of my ideal and your story of wanting me...
it's the time when you said,"aku butuh kamu..",
and it's the time when I realized you were letting me go...
unfortunately after 7 years of your desperation,
I finally had the heart for you,
which was too late...

can't you just..take a bow?!

13 October 2012 at 06:10
middle finger for my father,
keeps on telling me bad,
keeps on telling me I never work hard,
we're not the same though with blood related,
middle finger for my father,

once I took your responsibility,
would you like me doing it again to make you feel more guilty?!
middle finger for my father,

can you have your mouth shut,
over something that I can while you can not,
middle finger for my father,

I don't live with you,
and you've never lived with us too,
you've never knew what we've been through,
so stop talking like you knew,
middle finger for my father,

middle finger for my father,
I will never end up like you,
like you always told me to..

middle finger for my father,
I stand up on my own feet now,
even the arrogant woman gave me A+ for my show,
middle finger for my father,
can't you just take a bow..

lessons of life

18 October 2012 at 02:53
lessons have learned today:
- never postpone what you can do today,because there might be no tomorrow for you.
- how would you change your relationships erasing the negative energy in them.
- dying is not scary, it's sad because you knew you're going through it that you only wished to be a better person.

morning till evening,all matters seemed to be nothing compared to the value of your own life and the way you'd like to change it away much better than you ever did..

a fragment in the future,well just maybe..

24 October 2012 at 02:24
those two faces were shining bright like it was their first meeting. the man smiled gladly, while the woman saying hello with bashfully. they both looked very clumsy as the man stared with amazed and the woman tried to grab his hand as a way of respectful female to her leading male. the man didn't give his hand as he didn't know what to do and still overwhelmed by the existence of the woman that he had missed for a while now truly there in front of him. the man realized his clumsiness while saying,

"oh..", and gave his hand while giggling. the woman gave her smile like she thought that the man was silly and kissed his hand respectfully. then there was a gap of time when they stared to each other with big smiles didn't know what to do and pretty much amazed by what had just happened. then they faced the road at the same time realized at what had just happened. the man asked,

"Shall we?!", as he put the gear and moved his hands on the steering wheel still with big smile. the woman replied,
"Sure..", still with bashfully. there was another gap of time like they were on their own world which actually they thought the same. then the woman started to talked.

“You look quite clumsy like your feeling for me is getting clearly...”, the woman talked like it was nothing and giggled without facing the man as she kept her view to the left window.
The man was amazed and fastly faced the woman while he was saying,

” And how do you know that?! You’re a fortune teller are you?!”, the man gave rethorical question which sounded like mocking to hide his true feeling. He gave the amazing expression showing his child-like face(I wonder if all Taurus men that I had dated, had the same mocking and childish gaze while looking cute at the same time with their bunny eyes). He kept aware to the road and steered with the edge of his gaze while he still faced the woman and then the woman faced him while saying,

“Because I feel the same...”, the woman replied like it was the last candle light in the dark lighten the man’s inner deep thought.
So he pulled over his car suddenly which obviously made the woman a little bit surprised. Then he stared deeply at the woman with mixed feelings. The woman still amazed and just sat still there while confused looking at the man. The man suddenly grabbed her into his arms and kissed her fiercely while moaning,

“Oh.. I miss you babe, I miss you so much...I love you, babe... I neeeeeed you,” he kissed while whispering and didn’t let the woman replied. The woman didn’t refuse and let herself drown in those fiery affections which more can be seen as lust. Then started to gain her consciousness(to be honest, no woman nor man can survive from this kind of attack) while replying,

“Then marry me my dear..., I want to grow old with you. I want to see your wrinkles.... I want to see you getting mad... I want to be there to overcome your worst feeling and be there in the worst situation to give you the endless affection”, she spoke while her hands trying to stop the fiery kisses bombarded by the man.

Then the men stopped because of those sentences which more like the relieving water in the noon at the middle of desert. As he began to think that this maybe the one thing that he had been searching for. He showed his complicated feelings while staring with desperately so close to the face of the woman. He looked deeply into her eyes as he seen the most beautiful and rare deep brown eyes (oh sorry, it’s because of the soft lenses)then he found the answers. His eyebrows met, and his cute bunny eyes demanded with despair as he started to talk by opening his mouth...

And then I wake up -.-‘

- inspired by you:thx for still texting me,I didn't know there's still piece of me in your busy mind^^ - 

will you set a good example ???

2 December 2012 at 17:22
blaming me because the people feel pity of me,
you yourself feel pity of me, 'mom,
see... you're the one who set the example,
I am who I am...
let the people feel pity of me or loving me,
I don't care,
I don't need to care,
it's their problem,
not mine..
despite my misery(you said),
and me...being ugly(you said),
I can only.... be nice and kind :P


3 December 2012 at 01:30
blaming me for being independent... 
(you were the one who created the indie-me)

feeling lonely because I don't need you..
(whose fault was that)

loving other weak children beside my sister and I
(which made you hurt in the end)

complaining I have no time because I'm working online
(who actually challenged me for making money online?!)

complaining because I had boyfriends
(who actually complained about me being alone?!)

now your daughter complained about me was having boyfriends
(now why am I still single?!,
it's because your mom never respect my boyfriends(that your mother regret,
because they all are awesome now),stupid!

now why am I keep being single?!
it's because I don't want to be with men that your mother didn't like,stupid!

now you think I'm an egoist?!
why would an egoist thought about her mother's feeling above her own happiness, stupid?!)

if you said that I'm a bitch,
then you're cowardly stupid,

I don't ask for back-ups like you do,
I don't hang up phone just because of being scared like you do,
instead, you text rude...
I don't actually get mad like you do,
(it was your mom who told me to,
when you were being hypocrite accepting your father's mistress,
hurting your mother's feeling too)

I don't complain over money you spent like you do,
I don't forbid you to see mom like you do,
(so don't tell me I'm the one who cut our relationship,
it's actually what you do)
and I don't let your mother yelled by our father like you do,

though I'm a bitch (you said)
at least I'm not that stupid,
like you being a hypocrite.

so what do you want exactly, mother and daughter???