Thursday, September 22, 2011

my words now the worst...

held my tears for weeks
not that I didn't want to
but I just... can't
not even in the night
nor alone in my bed...

seeing you today
it's like broken dike
my tears just swift,
not all of my problems
nor all of the hurts,
not of the missing
nor upon me your not existing,

but it's the rumple on your face,
the deepest sunken ever on your cheeks,
the lighter light surrounding your face,
the darkest dark around your face,
it's like you're not alive,
or just get back from hell,
thinner fingers,
tousled hair
you're in ruins...

can't even looked straight through your eyes,
might found something that reminds,
lovely memories,
or those hurts.

I didn't want to remember you,
nor thinking about you,
but there're always some events,
or even someone's habits,
that keep reminds me of you,
it's like the never ending signs of you

I did pray for God always makes me remembering,
we are forbidden in this pretending,
but the signs keep appearing,
why can't they just missing

the touch of those lips
and the twist of the tongue
freeze in that second
something eternal there
not it became stronger
nor weaker
and still the same
the least that I felt
you I don't know
not one of the shaman

for all my life
I've been being appropriate
so they can feel compatible
also comfortable
that's what they said
but not the same I felt
only with you
I can be myself
of who I am
the way I am

you are the air that I breath
the blood that I bleed
the brainwave when I think
seeing you is my serenity
staring your face is my fervently
your smile is my peace
your wrinkle is my wisdom
your gaze is my soul

you live in me
you light my belief
you make me seen
you tranquil my sleep

I just... never completed without you

If you can't choose,
and I don't have the guts to walk away,
let your side become fair,
after all my life never been fair,
let the fate choose for us,
again we are forbidden
for seeing one another,
the farthest the distant
mate won't apart,
and my words now the worst

- 270909, humble room : with swollen eyes and little numb, I guess... -

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